Lady Gaga, Heroin, and Zombies! OH MY!
by ForLackofTrying
Summary: Johnny discovers Lady Gaga and decides to take the Idiots to see her concert in none other than Baltimore, Maryland! Possibly the first multi-chapter parody-type story!Rated T because Neither Jimmy nor I agree with censorship!


**A/N: So…this is my first posted story! I technically half-wrote a story with yftgb, but this is ALL MINE! *strokes evil cat* So. I must give credit to whoever invented this wonderful way of writing about these characters! (And pretty much the characters themselves…) I think its invisible girl (figure correct capitalization…), but someone correct me if wrong! Don't worry. Hopefully the story will get more interesting…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lady Gaga, American Idiot, Christian rap, hobos, Baltimore , Peeta, aquariums, or ghetto names.**

JOHNNY: *comes running in* JIMMY KINS! LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

JIMMY: oh lord. HOW MANY TIMES must I TELL you that hobos are PEOPLE, NOT pets?

JOHNNY: it's...NOT a hobo...! Gimme one sec...*runs out the door, loudly whispers* go on, Mr. Jenkins. Go back to the park. I'm sorry. I forgot that Jimmy doesn't like hobos. *comes running back in*. OK. I found the best new artist EVER.

JIMMY: It's not another one of those white Christian rappers, is it? I despise them.

JOHNNY: *gasp* YOU INSULT CHRISTIAN RAP, YOU INSULT ME.

JIMMY: Whatever. You are so ADHD. What did you want so badly to show me?

JOHNNY: RIGHT! So, I took some of our drug money...

JIMMY: YOU TOOK MY MONEY, BITCH?

JOHNNY: Um...I lied. It was a present from Whatsername. EITHER WAY, I went to the record store and asked the guy working there for some new music. I told him that I like Justin Bieber, one direction, and Hannah Montana. He suggested this lady gaga person. So I bought her album, and she is AMAZING!

JIMMY: You lost me at "I like Hannah Montana"

JOHNNY: HEY! I find her music to be heartwarming and inspirational, and easy to connect to!

JIMMY: You, a 30-yr old, jobless heroine addict living in a slum in The City relate to Hannah Montana?

JOHNNY: YOU KNOW WHAT, never mind, ok? If you're just gonna make fun of me, I can just invite Whatsername and tun-tun OVER HERE and show them…

JIMMY: NO, no! No need for that...so who is this...*takes cd and stares in disgust* lady gaga?

JOHNNY: lemme get my cd player for you! *gets cd player, brings it back, puts in cd and starts playing "born this way"*

JIMMY: *covers ears* WHAT IS THIS MADNESS!

JOHNNY: *singing* IM ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY!

JIMMY: Bitch, you sing that one more time and I will end you.

JOHNNY: Don't be a hater!

JIMMY: Being a "hater" is my JOB, Johnny-cakes. When was the last time I liked ANYTHING you did?

JOHNNY: Hmm...you're right. Well, it doesn't matter, 'cause I already bought 2 tickets for us to go on a romantic date to her next concert!

JIMMY: One: there is no fucking way in HELL that I will EVER go on a romantic date with you.  
>Two: why in HELL would this lady gaga come to this shithole City?<p>

JOHNNY: I was KIDDING, Jimmy kins! April fools!

JIMMY: Johnny. It's September.

JOHNNY: Like I care! ANYWAY, I bought enough tickets for you, me, tun-tun, Whatsername, Heather, EG, and Will!

JIMMY: You realize that Theo is probably gonna end up coming, too, right?

JOHNNY: Already one step ahead of ya! I bought a sedative so we can kidnap him and bring him along!

JIMMY:*shakes head* You don't understand. We don't WANT him to come!

JOHNNY: Um...reverse psychology?

JIMMY: Whatever. It's beside the point, as I won't be coming with you.

JOHNNY: *smiles evilly* Oh yes you will….  
>*cue laugh track, then transition to Jimmy and Johnny in the car...*<p>

JIMMY: *jumps on screen, sees the car scene, sighs and pushes it off to the side. Resume shithole apartment setting* JOHNNY. HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU THAT THIS IS NOT A SITCOM?

JOHNNY: …shit. That was my only plan. I was hoping you'd fall for it.

JIMMY: I'm not coming with you, child.

JOHNNY: …What if Peeta comes along and makes you magic brownies?

JIMMY: Hmm... Peeta and pot, very tempting...

JOHNNY: Oh! And I forgot to tell you! We're going to see her in…wait for it…Baltimore, Maryland.

JIMMY:*head snaps up* Baltimore?

JOHNNY: *looks smug* Indeed.

JIMMY: *jumps on top of couch* BITCH, ALL MY DRUG HOMIES IS IN BALTIMORE! They have top notch dope! I'm in.

JOHNNY: *jumps up and down, clapping his hands together* YAYAYAYAYAY!

JIMMY:*stops suddenly, stares at Johnny, dope slaps him* don't EVER do that again. EVER.

JOHNNY: whatever you say, Jimmy kins!

JIMMY: Ok, lemme just call up my homie d'Andre la Timone Courtney Shaequan. I'm sure he can hook us up with a nice shithole to stay in while we're in Baltimore!

JOHNNY: Jimmmmmmmy...

JIMMY: *dialing on phone* What?

JOHNNY: When we're in Baltimore, can...can we go to the aquarium?

JIMMY: *on phone* d'Andre la Timone Courtney Shaequan? Wazzup, man? It's your old homie, Jimmy! Yeah, the saint. How you been, man? Still got that hooker following you around? You shot her? Aww, good choice, man. She was annoxious as hell. Hey, so me and some...well, friends and family are comin' down to ol' Baltimore to visit! Yeah, think you could hook us up with a place to stay? Oh, great, man. You da bomb.

JOHNNY:* jumping around Jimmy, whisper-yelling* AQUARIUM! ASK ABOUT THE AQUARIUM!

JIMMY: Yeah, d'Andre, I got this kid following me. He's annoying as shit, but I'm sorta tied to him. And he wants to go to the aquarium. Think you can hook us up? Yeah? Oh, man, that sounds perfect. Ok. See you soon. Later, man!

JOHNNY: *puppy dog eyes* Are we going to the aquarium?

JIMMY: No. You're going to the aquarium with an escort while I do some handling of...business.

JOHNNY: GOOD ENOUGH.

JIMMY: so, when do we leave?

JOHNNY: tomorrow!

JIMMY: It's going to be a long car ride... Better go get some more drugs. See you later, Johnny-cakes!

**A/N: Wow. I use caps lock waaayyyyy too much. Sorry about that! Review? Sorry if it sucked!**


End file.
